We all encounter difficult people and tricky situations at some point in our careers, and these issues can be magnified by our own personality traits and those of our co-workers. Like it or not, it's relatively common to find people who are dominant, arrogant, self-confident, or hostile among those at the top of their fields in academia and business. It's no surprise then when challenging conflicts arise in the workplace, lab, or faculty meeting. Unfortunately, while we may be experts in our chosen fields, most of us have received virtually no training in managing people or functioning as part of a team.
The situation is not hopeless, however. In this series of interactive workshops, I identify the most challenging types of people and situations you’re likely to encounter, and teach techniques for handling the situation – and yourself. Attendees learn techniques they can use immediately, and for the rest of their lives.
Here's what's available:
Handling Difficult Situations and People (90 mins)
Conflicts are an inescapable part of life. Some conflicts - like disagreements over scientific results - can be productive. But conflicts over space, money, and authorship can turn ugly quickly. How you handle conflict depends in part on your personality and techniques you've learned to resolve differences. This introductory workshop begins with the attendees self-assessing their own attitudes and approaches to resolving conflicts. As a group, we then consider some scenarios involving conflicts with other people and develop strategies for dealing with them.
At the end of the workshop, participants will:
- Understand their preferred mode for handling conflict
- Be able to recognize strategies that others use to deal with conflict
- Understand the value of “I” statements vs. “You” statements
- Recognize how to deal with specific types of conflict involving demanding, critical, and hostile people
Conflict Management (3 hrs)
This workshop is an expansion of Handling Difficult Situations and People. We spend more time looking at various strategies for handling conflict, discussing when alternative strategies might be appropriate, and examining the consequences of relying too much (or not enough) on particular strategies.
In addition to the skills acquired in the first workshop, participants will:
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Understand the consequences of using different conflict resolution strategies in different situations
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Know how to frame disagreements so that they don't become arguments
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Be able to match their words to the situation and individual
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Gain experience in dealing with specific types of conflict involving demanding, critical, hostile, argumentative, passive-aggressive and needy people, along with chronic complainers.
Lab Conflicts Practicum (60-120 mins)
I gave a workshop on Handling Conflicts in the Lab for STEM grad students and postdocs. Following that workshop, the organizers solicited real-life conflict scenarios that class attendees had been involved in or witnessed, which they submitted anonymously. There was no lack of contributions, ranging from authorship disputes, lab romances, to smelly coworkers. I selected 13 representative conflicts and we discussed approaches to resolving them in the next class. The Practicum requires one of the two above workshops as a prerequisite, and could be done for any discipline, not just STEM.
Conflict Management and Negotiation Skills (6 hrs)
A full day class (or two half-days) in handling conflict, dealing with difficult people and situations, and conducting productive negotiations. This class employs individual assessments, individual and group activities, and role playing to give attendees maximum ability to acquire and practice the skills taught in the workshop.
In addition to the skills acquired in the first two workshops, participants will:
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Learn tactical and behavioral tools for managing negotiations
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Understand the difference between positions and interests
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Know how to replace wants and needs with inquiries
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Be able to reframe personal attacks
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Be able to 'expand the pie' to consider creative solutions
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Recognize how to turn negotiations into mutual problem-solving activities
In each workshop, the scenarios which we analyze are drawn from the participants' areas of expertise (e.g. conflicts in laboratory situations for science and engineering students). In addition to science, engineering and general business contexts, I've delivered these workshops to social scientists, liberal arts majors, and 'creatives' (like art students).
Please use the contact form if you have questions about these workshops.
Participants' responses to "What did you like best?" about recent Conflict Management Workshops:
"I enjoyed the exercises when we were given a situation and asked how it could have been changed to reflect the different types of conflict. Also, knowing that different conflict styles have their place in different situations was also a new idea for me."
"The information was all practical and relevant to scientific & engineering workplace scenarios. I felt immediately more ready to have these types of conversations."
"Practical applications of the skills taught."
"The examples of conflicts that could arise in labs and the opportunity to try resolving them ourselves. Doug has a great way of phrasing conversations during conflict situations that allow both parties in the conflict to get what they desire without resorting to insults, aggression, and/or avoidance."
"Presentation of concrete strategies/approaches for dealing with difficult people."
"Wealth of information and resources."
"The group/partner exercises at the end were very helpful."
"Doug Kalish was a very effective communicator and led the workshop well. In particular two points stood out. Firstly, he answered questions from students very candidly and thoughtfully, which I thought helped the students understand more concretely the concepts he was talking about. Secondly the role-playing/discussions were both fun and informative."
"I enjoyed the interactive format of the seminar; the audience was engaged the entire time. All of the examples were very relevant."
Here are all the dougsguides workshops:
