Being criticized by your boss is particularly harsh because this person has so much control over your life. A good boss will criticize constructively, give you encouragement where warranted, and point our errors where they occur. You should be so lucky. Here are two scenarios from not-so-good bosses (you should also review the material about dealing with judgmental people:
Unhelpful criticism:
Boss: "I just read your report. It's garbage."
You: "I'm sorry it's not what you expected. I sure am having trouble with this. Can you tell me what's wrong?" (Agree-Empathize-Inquire)
Boss: "Everything. It's just junk."
You: "Can you tell me what's not in here that you expected to see?"
A good boss will tell you what's wrong. A bad one will say:
Boss: "I don't have the time to do your job and mine."
In which case you might try:
You: "Do you have an example of a good report I could use as a model? Or is there someone I can talk to who knows what you expect?"
Sometimes the problem is the boss who changes his mind:
Boss: "You're wasting your time on this project. I want to go in a different direction."
You: "I've already spent three weeks on this and now you want me to drop it?"
Boss: "Yes, something more important has come up."
You: "I understand that priorities can shift quickly (Agree). It's your decision to make (Empathize). I've put in a lot of work already. Maybe I can wrap this up with just a little more work and it will be useful. Or is there something I can change on the current project to fit the new priorities? (Inquire)"
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